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bone on bone, too young to feel this old
suffering derision, making my decision
PREOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS: Degenerative joint disease of the right hip.
I say good-bye
Election Day 2000
PROCEDURE PERFORMED: Right total hip replacement.
X marks the spot
general anesthesia induction, skin incision, capsule exposed, hip dislocated, central cap inserted, excellent stable fit, femur attached uncemented, excellent stable fit, excellent stable range of motion, wound irrigated,…..
I’m dreaming. He appears in our kitchen dressed in a light windbreaker and baseball cap. My wife sitting on the carpet, facing outside at the french doors, unaware. My son watching TV in the family room, seeing him. We’re both surprised. I’m in the kitchen watching him, asking him how he is. He’s fine he says, he’s learned how to walk on water. They’ve put wings on his feet. And then he’s gone.
My father-in-law Evan passed away in April…..
“Mom, I’m going outside,” shouting upstairs as I put on my white sailor cap. At least it used to be white.
“Where?”
“Up to the church lot to play stickball.”
“Okay, be careful, watch for cars, don’t run in the road.”
Whatever.
I grab my bat, a broomstick from the hardware store. And two tennis balls, worn from too many games between my parents. They don’t keep score, or so they say.
I have a quarter for candy and a…..
conceiving
three stories set to music
arriving
meeting the choir, lifting me higher, arrangement rehearsal, role reversal
upstanding, down-to-earth
unpretentious, conscientious, useful, truthful, modest, honest
withstanding, without hesitation
center stage, coming of age, surprising spotlight, intriguing plight, asking to sit, directed to stand
outstanding, in concert
beginning in silence, eyes closing with reverence, mind ready, voice…..
Encouraged by the openness of Poetic Conversations, I read “A Sense of Awe” as a guided meditation. At the end of the session, questions about phrases, words, concepts arose. So I held a second session to study the text, kindred spirits engaged in spirited conversation.
This experience emboldened me to offer two pathways for sharing my books. The first session a guided meditation centered around feeling the words, a spiritual experience. The second session a discussion directed toward understanding the…..
I hear myself say, “so let’s move.”
the words more a statement than a suggestion, knowing this is right
caught unawares in awareness, ripples from a sea change, a rite of passage
imperceptible, irresistible, possibility, clarity,
I see an artist studio born out of a garage where I can write
surprising and unsurprising, listen in wonder,
I learn there will be a yoga studio…..
I am now hosting small group discussions through poetic conversations. A forum across a wide spectrum: personal, societal, spiritual, political. Beginning with introductions and some backdrop about my creative process, I then read a couple of poems within a topic, pausing to facilitate discussion. Honest and polite – nonjudgmental, belief and disbelief welcome, exchanging, engaging. Creating a safe space, setting egos aside. Tell us what you hear, tell us how you feel. Bring a sense of humor. Lighten and enlighten.
…..
Countering intuition, I set out for my early morning walk, tired, ego pushing me forward, memories of the past weighing as heavy as the early morning mist, my mind clouded, distracted
trees listing, the sidewalk jagged and slick
a family of deer ahead distressed, a stag willing me to turn back
headstrong
daring, flaring, glaring, staring
leery, eerie
bewitching, bewildering
losing my balance
headlong
something…..
Spirituality
I believe that everything comes from Nothing
consciousness, awareness imagination, intuition infinity, sanctity
I believe that creation exists all around us
energy, chemistry, symmetry, mystery mathematics, physics, evidence, experience, existence, intelligence, reverence
as above, so below as below, so above
Humanity
I believe we have a soul
sincerity, integrity, fidelity, humility, morality transience, conscience reason, passion
I believe we…..
i have a glimpse of retirement, casual dress, connected by technology
i work and write at my desk, a view of the mountains, a changing room
i vacation by the lake, stretching on a yoga mat, jaw slackening
i close my eyes, the blueness of the sky endures, floaters swimming past
i am interrupted, flies biting, voices echoing disappointments
i open my eyes, inhaling the sky above, clouds aloft, weeping willows
